POETRY: Lost in the Dark

I should have just stayed asleep lurking in my dreams, it’s better than waking up…

I lost you, then I lost myself.  The sad part is I don’t know which is worse…

Lost in between a dream and a coma,

Walking the edge of this cliff, like a dog to its owner

Loyal or enslaved,  I don’t know. Its my dilemma

Being tied down to someone who you aren’t certain of.

I hate when I get this way, honestly I wish you didn’t introduce me to these new friends called emotions

They don’t respect privacy,

Climbing through the stairs of my mind to my little soundproof room.

A shadow of a shadow of my former self

Prevaricating train of thought, lost in its own tracks

Witty and weltering, astute and asinine. Composed, debased, sharpening a dull ache in my head

I’m  bipolar at the thought of you, this emptiness has no dark corners for me to hide from these loud thoughts.

I need to stay asleep this time…forever if possible

Forever, said the angels above the grid.
No, thanks. I decline

Eternal sleep is only wished for, if it be self-inflicted, my liege

Inflicted, as the wounds which thoughts of you did scar my dreams

But the truth is even if I decide to join you in the underworld
Anubis wouldn’t want us to be in eternal bliss.
So I’m stuck here in black…
…lost in the dark.
My past seems stranger than a stranger.

And Anubis did request food for passage rights
Impoverished by the famine I left, I offered naught
“Whale oil beef hooked”, said Charon’s rip-off with an Irish accent.
Abandoning hope, all ye that enter, the inferno of my thoughts; scope

I can’t bear it anymore
The only person worth living for isn’t alive
I really should have stayed asleep…

May we exist like the Lotus,  sitting pretty, in muddy waters.

The flower of euphoria of mankind’s power
Or the motif of mankind’s cradle
Or both?

The question left unanswered, for I no longer keep awake to loathe.

TGR

TGR is an ultra skinny writer who loves to eat and sings in the bathroom. She’s also a lover of dogs and the colour black