You know how your eyes brighten when love happens? As minions glow at the sight of ridiculously yellow banana, almost as if Vitamin A has been smuggled in your diet. There’s a certain radiance about your face irrespective of skin-care product. That glow is nature’s tan; your sense of humour starts to take steroids—you would think that you are indeed funny till you share those same jokes with a Mongolian Monk.
Then those early morning text messages, the beauty you now pour out in words, it would seem Shakespeare called you Lord! The undisturbed air of well-being, you get in such a jolly mood you start to give your property to the poor, recession becomes just a word; please don’t argue, read. I know relationship brothers who borrow credit from telecom service providers on a daily basis, they later be begging me for help, then I tell them in the indelible words of Francis Odega — gerrarahia forreal! They mistake my singlehood for generosity, infidels!
Matching clothes and shoes, endless selfies, the unnecessary cyber-display of affection, the list goes on… But sh*t don’t last, never does. It gets real, it’s supposed to. The fights about nothing, the fights about something, the drama, the unavoidable lies, the unconcealable truths… or maybe trivial things like the fact that she watches Telemundo and Zee World every time power comes on when you could be watching Eden Hazard dribble through the Arsenal team, or maybe she doesn’t know how to cook Jollof (although this is not trivial by any standard), but she thinks this is trivial, Problem!!!! Or it might even get as serious as the babe buying Korean Romance Drama series, where the plot of the last is absolutely the same with the previous and next one she buys, yet you have to sit and feign delight for as long as you are not dead, cold!
I hear the men folk cheering now, Kamdan!
Don’t even get me started on the ‘gist’, tantrums and gossips about her friends you are forced to listen to, you would sometimes wonder; if she hates them so, why hasn’t she gotten new friends? The drama love brings looks more like Fuji House of Commotion than that movie about the Iceberg and the boat.
I’m beginning to sound too cynical, like I’m hating on this love business, right? But bear with me. Love is beautiful, and I love ‘love’, I tender my Ed Sheeran album and Johnny Drille playlist as exhibits. Now you are thinking this article is inspired by some foul break-up I suffered? Nah! Chelsea dropped points this weekend. Truth is I wish I had the time to be invested in this love thing; it’s all kinds of thrills, but it could also be all kinds of despair. Don’t go into it expecting fairy tales, fairy tales concocted by Film makers and Social Media that make you run and eventually ruin your relationship with unreal standards.
Love is beautiful, love is amazing, love could make your tummy butterflies fly, love could make your tummy butterflies die, love could get you awake in the morning, love could take your sleep at night… I could go on, but poetry is gay. All I’m saying is, the next time you fall in love, don’t be excited, be ready.
Image credit: Star.ng