Abike #6

Read Also: Abike #4

Chapter 6 – Tomorrow will handle itself (Finale)

Abike

I have lost count of how much time has passed since Jide last hit me. He still thinks about it though; he raises his hand to hit me then stops midway. It’s improvement at least. But if I said all was great, I would be lying. We are struggling now. As happy as I was that the battery had stopped, it still felt like I had lost a part of him when he took the decision never to hit me.  He was never the same anymore and his life now was basically work. He had gotten involved in a few fights over the moments and I even had to bail him out of jail a few weeks back. His smoking had turned into more of a routine than a mild habit. I finally succeeded in convincing him to go for sperm analysis in hopes that the thought of a child will create a spark in him.

We had traveled to San Francisco to see a Dr. Batsuba, a male fertility specialist. He was very helpful and nice.  Jide responded well and wanted badly to believe there was hope for us. It took a few more months before I finally took in but to my surprise, he wasn’t so impressed by the news. In fact, he tore the doctor’s note. He was beginning to instill fear in me again. I chose not to react. A month later, it became clear I couldn’t raise a child with this man after he kicked me on my tummy while we had an argument and left me there on the floor in tears. I had managed to get to my phone and contacted Uju. There was blood on my thighs by the time she arrived. She was furious when she came to get me and even more furious when I lied that I had fallen on my own accord.

Laid down on the hospital bed that evening, certain I’d lost the little joy that had come into my life; my baby, I cursed Jide under my breath. Uju kept wiping my tears and tried to comfort me as we waited for the doctor’s confirmation. It didn’t make sense to me when Doctor Bayo explained that I’d be free to go in the morning and that my babies were fine, completely safe from my ‘accident’. I had no idea I had been carrying twin boys all along but one thing was clear now — these boys would never be raised by a monster. I had to run for their sakes. If I stay, my boys will end up like I did, a mess. I had to make a sacrifice. I was going to lie to Jide that I had a miscarriage, as a test.

The news of my miscarriage hit Jide just the way I predicted. Together with his mother, I had been branded a witch who ate her baby. There was no way I was going to continue living like that now. The next few weeks went into planning vigorously. I was turning into something I didn’t recognize but as long as it meant my unborn babies were safe, I would learn to live with it. I informed Uju and Chike that I would be leaving to Dublin in a few weeks.

As the planned day drew closer, I got scared it won’t work. Uju would be the one to deliver the news to me and I would cry but I would know it had to be done.

*TWO WEEKS LATER*

I had just arrived the hotel I was going to be staying at in Dublin before I could get a place of my own. I decided to call Uju to inform her I was settled in. I hesitated because I was scared. Had my plan worked? I picked the phone anyways and dialed her number.

“Abike, is that you?” She sounded like she had been crying.

“Yes, what is the matter?” I asked

“There is no easy way for me to say this so I’m just going to say it. Jide and everything you own went down in flames today. There was a gas leak in the house and Jide wanted to smoke I guess. They said the lighter ignited him first and then the house. There is barely anything left of him.”

“I will call you back later” I managed to say without being too faint.

“Abike —” I cut the call before she went further.

I already knew about the fire. I planned it. Everything was all me. He had a habit of smoking at the back entrance of the kitchen close to the cylinders . I had created the leak early this morning before I left the house. I never eat before travelling so the gas wasn’t going to be used at all. I knew he would still smoke there because he never liked the inside of the house to reek of tobacco. I did what I had to do to protect my children. He would have ruined me in a divorce. I grabbed my tummy knowing that we would be fine without their father.  I laid my head on the bed with a tiny smile forming on my lips as I decided to fall asleep. Tomorrow will handle itself.

Image Art by Dempsey Osahon Eguae

Naomi A.

I learn to live my life as everyday comes but still controlling the elements around me. I’m not perfect but the more I strive towards perfection the more things fall in place