It’s funny how I almost let you ruin me.
Our love was like ‘final destination’.
I already had a premonition that we were not going to last long.
So all I wanted to do, was prove fate wrong.
I just wanted to be someone you wanted, even if it meant not being myself.
Every single effort I made in becoming your perfect lover was translated into a step,
A step I took, away from myself.
I was on a journey to finding self…
Meanwhile, she was back at home crying, praying and waiting for me to come back to my senses,
To be delivered from myself to be free from the chain you bound me with.
You dragged me to from my my clan, seduced me with my own fantasies, and lured me into the desert.
A Queen turned Slave…
I traded my throne for love, I wanted what others had, not knowing they were all actors in a carnival beckoning on me to take a shot at the games.
You were my oasis in the desert.
Every moment I spent with you, though beautiful, was a contribution to the void that I longed to fill.
I wanted to be your Queen, wanted to be bad, wild and free.
‘But freedom is truly a state of the mind’.
Then one night I saw the moon (the same moon you kept me from seeing with kisses and tears),and i became alive.
My demons were awoken.
My dragons wanted to be set free, to melt the chains (that their owner wore with pride) and take me back home to where I am Queen.
One fateful morning, I woke up as reality dawned on me.
Everything pointed to me, knife in hand, his skin in my finger nails
Oh! he should have known, Queens cannot be tamed.
Love isn’t binding enough,
Love’s tethers can’t hold a Dragon Queen.
He wasn’t capable of taming my dragons, dancing with my demons.
They awoke, they awoke and oh they killed the intruder!
The guilt was unimaginable, his life was precious, a soul that was valuable
I was free from his promises.
Maybe I would love again, maybe not
Would I love myself, yes, a lot more
Love and be unchanging, not for any prince or pauper, not for money
Let nothing make you conform to another’s fantasy of Perfection.
Your flaws are what makes you Unique.
I sit on my throne and decree to everyone,
Love yourself, your imperfections are what makes you perfect!
TGR is an ultra skinny writer who loves to eat and sings in the bathroom. She’s also a lover of dogs and the colour black